*loses drink in scotland* where did my Glasgow.
the sun has come out
the sun is gay
*white girl voice* why are the hot ones always gay
"bisexual? you mean you’re experimenting?"
*kicks test tubes and alien hybrid under a desk* “um no what do you mean”
who wears the pants in the relationship? well preferably no one will be wearing pants
imagine a vampire going “fuck it” and just taking some antihistamines before going to town on a plate of garlic bread
later on it’s wheeled into the ER with like a puffed up face and it just goes “I have been on this earth 10 thousand years but i have not lived until this day”